Does Your Partner Play Two Roles? Spotting Narcissistic and Manipulative Traits at Home

Is your home life a stark contrast to the professional world? You might be dealing with a narcissistic or manipulative partner. While these personalities can wreak havoc in the workplace, their true colors often come out behind closed doors. Here's how to spot the signs in your personal life that might translate to your work environment as well.

The Red Flags at Home:

  • Charm Offensive vs. Demeaning Put-Downs: They initially sweep you off your feet with charm and flattery.However, the compliments soon turn into subtle digs or harsh criticism, leaving you confused.

  • One-Way Street on Needs: Their needs and desires are paramount, while yours get sidelined. You constantly adjust your life to accommodate them, but receive little to no reciprocity.

  • The Gaslighting Game: They twist reality, deny their actions, and make you question your own memory and judgment. This leaves you feeling confused and doubting yourself.

  • The Master Manipulator: Guilt trips, silent treatments, and emotional blackmail become their go-to tactics to control you. You constantly walk on eggshells, trying to avoid their displeasure.

  • Jealousy and Possessiveness: They exhibit extreme jealousy of your friends, family, or even professional accomplishments. They might try to isolate you from your support system.

  • Lack of Empathy: They struggle to understand or share your feelings. Their focus remains solely on themselves and their needs.

How These Traits Translate to Work:

These manipulative behaviors often show up in the workplace too. Here's how:

  • Workplace Drama King/Queen: They thrive on creating drama and gossip among colleagues.

  • Credit Grabber: They take credit for the work of others or downplay the contributions of teammates.

  • Blaming and Shifting Responsibility: They deflect blame from themselves and readily throw others under the bus.

  • The Office Bully: They might resort to intimidation, belittling, or public humiliation of colleagues who challenge them.

  • Charm Offensive for Promotions: They excel at projecting a confident and charming persona to superiors,strategically maneuvering for promotions or recognition.

What You Can Do:

  • Trust Your Gut: If something feels off in your relationship, it probably is. Don't ignore red flags.

  • Document Everything: For your own protection, keep a record of their manipulative behavior. This could be helpful if you decide to leave the relationship.

  • Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Having a support system is crucial.

  • Consider Professional Help: A therapist can help you understand the dynamics of the relationship and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Remember: You deserve a healthy and supportive relationship. If you recognize these signs, know that you're not alone and there are resources available to help you.

Allison Mathews

Dr. Allison Mathews specializes in integrating technology (web and app design, human centered design, UX research), social marketing, strategic partnerships and measurement and data analysis to achieve and track KPIs, advance the triple bottom line, and improve longterm impact.

Specialties: human centered design, health equity, DEI, philanthropy, community engagement, organizational capacity building, social marketing, crowdsourcing

http://www.drallisonmathews.com
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